This article was written by Jay of Darbhanga.
Many times in life we are confronted with our most dreadful fear, the thing that no one wishes for - Failures. They turn our lives upside down and create an emotional turbulence. Whenever we don't succeed at something we care about, our first thoughts are: "I'm an idiot, I'm nothing, I'm a loser, I don't deserve anything." And we fall in an endless cycle of self-harm. This cycle can only be broken by realizing that failures, losses, and rejection are pretty common. We don't understand is that Pain is the part of process. Our struggles determine our success. Only when we feel intense pain, we look down at our values and question them. The most radical changes in perspective happen in out worst moments. In words of Victor Frankl - "Every man is confronted with fate, with the chance of achieving something through his own suffering." It is only due to the hidden prospects poets like Rilke wrote "How much suffering if there to go through" and philosopher like Dostoevsky said - "There's only one thing I dread - Not be worthy of my sufferings." To deny the pain, through highs like drinking, smoking, positivity, is to defy our own potential.
If it wasn't for Michael Jordon to cut from 9th grade basketball team, he wouldn't have become Michael Jordon. If it wasn't for Walt Disney to get fired from Newspaper by saying that he had no imagination, there would be no Disney. Failure is the mother of Success - Pitbull.
Real winning is not a crown to wear; it's a journey. One wins only after having failed time after time. Despite knowing this, people tend to give up at the first prospect of Failure. This is because we measure success in terms of reaching certain qualifiers, like getting into certain college, reaching or becoming something by a certain age. We put deadlines and milestones to measure ourselves. And once we fail, we leave the entire venue. The truth is we are going to fail a lot. We should not take it seriously because it's not reality, it's not how things actually happen. It's coming from Mind - how things should happen. Failure just changes the path of journey, not the direction. The worst it can do it make the path longer, nothing more. Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it's the courage to continue that counts - Winston Churchill.
Failure is an external event, it doesn't defines you. If you failed once or a hundred times, it doesn't makes you a failure. Failure is an opportunity to learn, as constant success can blind us from questioning our ways and analyze and cause much greater damage in future. Whenever failure happens, ask these questions and analyze - i) How did I approached this - serious or lazy? ii) Was I prepared enough? iii) What state of mind I had the entire time? iv) Was I only chasing after Instant gratification? v) Out of things in my control, what could've I done to have a different outcome? Whatever your findings are, learn and incorporate them as changes to be made. You need to recognize the mistakes and reconcile your process and thought process to avoid failures in future.
Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it - Charles Swindoll.